today is...

defiantly a better day:+)

I'm waiting for Mark to come over...
i have no idea what we're going to do...
cause my house is so boring.
but i need to clean and pack some more...

anywhos...

i really, really, really want to hang with Emily, Kelly, and Genna
before summer is over.
dude, i really want my schedule too.

oh my god, I'm so impatient.

today I'm talking to a new kid that's coming to our high school,
I'm listening to some of his raps they're really, really good:+)

here's a link...
if ya wanna listen to one<3
http://www.babulous.com/357758/newarks_finest_Letter_to_Eddie__Final_Uncut____/content.jhtml

imma go now,
have a good day byee<3

i wanna finish...

1. the summer off happily.
2. and i want to finish at least one more book.
3. i want some sleep overs asap.
4. i want to not be tired the first day of school.
5. i want to hang out with the people i wont normally see before summer is over.
6. and i want answers.

I'm tired of trying to find my feelings.
i feel confused and lost.
and i want answers to my confusion.
it bugs me ya know?

and i want to stop thinking that everything is okay with him...
b/c it's not! it's not at all.
he's a crack head (literally)... and i feel like it's my fault,
that i never said "no" or "stop" enough, but the truth is that i said it too much.
and i know it's not my fault that he snorts coke.
and I'm just happy that he made it to his 17th birthday today.

and i wish he never thought that none of his ex girlfriends wouldn't care if he died...
because if anyone would care, it'd be me... I'd probably would cry more than i have in my life.

because i feel like i don't have feelings for him anymore... but the truth is that I'll always have feelings for him and he has made a HUGE impact on my life.

happy birthday ct.
hope it's a good one<3



this isn't the only confusion i have though.
Matt is confusing the shit out of me.
and i just wanna ignore it but i cant.
eh.

i seriously am addicted to this song...

i feel sick.
i feel bad.
and i have confusion on my brain.
i have pity for him.
and i have regret for him.
i dont understand anything that i am feeling.
i need to stop.

jello

top to the night to ya.

i am sitting next to emily flynn right now and i love her to death.

some random things have occurred in my life recently.

i dont know if i should be come friends again.

emily says yes...but he's a player and a poop head

okay well i thank you emily elizabeth flynn for showing me how to work dis blog hommie<3

i love you.

okay see ya soon bye.