finally

the apartments took the squirrels out of my wall! there was 4 of them, they had to kill them all
:+(
i don't like that but i guess it had to be done.

yeah so i have a severe sweating issue, i don't know how to fix it.

dude yesterday was amazing. billshelley and kellybatman/pope: i love you guys! you made my day! i cant wait to go back down to Philly again with ya's. and i thought those drunk guys were HILARIOUS! OMGG LOL BAHAHHA

in therapy last week i have come to realize that, no matter how many friends i have and
how much family i have, i still feel extremely alone.
i hate feeling this way.
depression really does take a toll on people's lives.
i hate it so much.
i wish i was happy, i mean i felt good over the summer, but now, not so much...
i don't know if it's school or the people there, it's just that i am so unhappy.
i don't enjoy this.

today is panda's birthday, i have come to find that he is whipped. it kinda makes me feel bad for him.
but he desperately wanted a girl friend and he finally got one.
hope it makes him happy.

BTW i cant stop saying the word "nigger" when i honestly can't stand that word.
i feel like an ignorant person when i say it.

ohhhmygod i forgot to tell ya that i almost stranggled some freshman today! i hate them even if im friends with them! they get in my way, and i need to move their sorry asses, and they push me around like im one of them! I DONT THINK SO! so i push back and curse them off so bad.

i have also come to conclusions that, i finally have learned how to ignore things that bother me--in a good way too!
it's the greatest feeling.

but one thing i seem unable to ignore, are my feelings for him.
and i can't stand it.